A Nation’s Ridiculous Distortion…

Posted: August 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

By Prince Charles Dickson 

“Ridiculous distortion” that was the phrase Christopher Kolade used in Katsina state last week to refer to the reports of plans to ‘smuggle’ pension for life for principal officers of the National Assembly into the constitution.

Strangely, if the likes of Christopher Kolade is not sure of the truth regarding what the National Assembly ‘smuggles or smokes’ into the constitution who will know? It was the same week that Oby Ekwesili was engaging the same National Assembly to the debate over the one trillion naira she claimed they have earned doing nothing.

The House of Representatives had taken up the Oby challenge, whether the debate holds or not, will only serve up our appetite to take our minds of the fading deportation drama and the aftermath of the FFK VS Igbos imbroglio, after all the underage marriage matter is dead, and we have left Obama and his gay drama.

Same week, Oil Producers Trading Section (OPTS), disagreed with the figures in public domain as regards the number of barrels of oil lost to illegal bunkering. 

The body said at an event in Abuja that Nigeria actually loses 49,000 barrels per day to illegal bunkering as against 490,000 barrels per day as the public is made to believe.

A representative of OPTS, Ayobami Olubiyi, at a roundtable meeting on Voluntary Principles, organized by Global Rights, explained that while 49,000 barrels are lost, 350,000 barrels are lost to production shut-ins. Production shut-ins the amount of oil lost to non-production as a result of vandalized pipelines.

According to him, the figures lost to illegal bunkering vary from day to day depending on the “scale of sabotage that occurs at each section.

Bottom-line is that Nigeria is loosing oil whether by shut in, shut out, or bunker in and out. This explanation mirrors part of all that is wrong with this nation, just like Kolade put it, all distortions, we have a Department of Petroleum Resources, a ministry of petroleum and various committees on the oil sector and yet we just cannot get it right.

Same week Health workers started their own strike action, joining ASUU, while the PDP NEC was meeting and the APC had an extra-ordinary meeting in Abuja. Strange people indeed, I mean just a distorted mentality, no one will really do anything, so we continue in the status quo of suffer and smiling.

Did I tell the uninformed that the ASUU talks was deadlocked severally with even the President supposedly a one time ASUU member threatening thunder, brimstone and the whim of a puppy all to no avail. 

The House of Rep committee on Education was begging ASUU, ASUU was begging, parents were begging and the students, for those that had not taken to other vices, because even education in Nigeria is a vice, were begging—What a distortion!

As all these continued, FG and the other two tiers of government in this feeding bottle styled federalism shared N715.8B for the month of July. Before we bother and lament regarding where all these monies go, take a visit to ‘their’ garage, luxurious cars litter them, kids schooling in Alaska, and girlfriends and concubines drawing allowances from the billions.

The media had no choice, as all the news was politics, 2015, If Obasanjo was not raining curses, Danjuma was the kite for a Christian Northern Presidency; an uninformed joke. Tukur continued his battle with his kinsmen governors, while Dame and Amaechi did the stage performance of “you did not condole me”.  We played snake and ladder with whether the man with nine lives Abu Shekau was dead or not, between STF, and Defense Hqtrs., it was story-story even as everyone became an expert on the man who only threatened Obama on CNN few days before he was proclaimed dead—It’s the land of ghosts and disappearing acts so don’t be scared, it is all part of the distortions.

We have professors everywhere, experts, PhD holders, consultants, gurus and revered men who claim to see or talk to God regularly, yet no headway, the best we get is grammarians who take ipads to farms and hoes to board meetings.

The Wednesday FEC contract meeting held and as usual another slice of the national cake was chopped off.

Attend any event with the Maitama Sules, Braithwaites, Jakande, Onosode, Lar and co. generation, we hear of the good old days, and sadly we are living witnesses of the current days of Tinubu, Rufai, Utomi and co. Nigeria is neither a practical nor theory not on human or auto pilot, neither a zoo, at least the animals are caged and know their limits. We are just a huge distortion.

Did I tell you it was the week FG made more millions, no I mean billions selling PHCN while a third quarter of the nation was in darkness.

We have all become part of one huge joke where all comes, and no one goes beyond talk shops: even when we put the pegs right in the holes they should be, one wonders are we cursed, by whom and for whose benefit. We are enmeshed in greed that defies creed, and religion, yet encapsulated in a feisty fight of rights rested on religion and ethnicity.

Our democracy is just a huge distortion, a few steps forward, massive strides backwards because representation at all levels, from local councils to National Assembly, governors, ministers, and those we are refer to as ‘they’ are plagued by a disease called ridiculous distortion, as mirrored by Afis Odidere :

“They cannot debate.
They are pretentious.
They are intellectually lazy.
They are foolishly religious.
They demand respect.
They cannot reason on a straight line.
They are too touchy and too personality conscious.
They love to parade useless degrees instead of demonstrating Intellectualism.
They tell stories of how they were schooled, but when they discuss issues, they lack analytical prowess.
And for those who showcase their PhDs, they lack research skills.
They are never prepared when coming to a meeting (never used their acquired skills for the Group’s benefit, only used their acquired skills as Weapons of Mass Destruction)”. 

We know the problems, the solutions are there, we are just toying with reality, and ridiculously distorting our future. A weapon one doesn’t have in hand won’t kill a snake…all these distortions, whether there is hope–Only time will tell
with compliments


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